Saturday, April 11, 2015

Peace and Joy

Well.. Sister E Youngjean told me you accepted her on facebook.. and that you congratulated her on her baptism. Kudos family.. she loves you almost as much as she loves me! Yesterday was incredible and went by way too fast! who are we kidding.. time in general is going by way too fast! Except sometimes.. I think it's a good thing.. the final hour of church couldn't come fast enough and then I about cried when Sister E Youngjean poked me in the side and said only 40 more minutes.. the greatest countdown of my life. 

I tried explaining this to President and Sister Jihei Lee (my companion).. but it has been a blessing watching the timeline of Sister E Youngjean and the Church. From our very first initial meeting with her.. which would not have continued the way it had without Sister Choi and their similar music tastes.. to the teaching that would not have gone on as well as it did without Sister Lee.. They were both so needed.. at the moment that they were here! Each day gives me more and more confidence in this new transfer. I couldn't see all the blessings or need of the changes that this new transfer brought, somewhat hesitant to accept them at first.. but little by little.. I can tell that Heavenly Father is accomplishing His will how it needs to be done... and you know what.. I'm learning it goes a lot smoother when I just accept that and follow it as closely as I can! Even when we cannot see the outcome, each and every little act, thought, everything.. hangs into this balance that we are a little too blind as natural men to see. but when we take a hold of Heavenly Father's hand.. I know that we can see where that path takes us.. and it is to places we cannot go alone. 

I still don't understand how I was so blessed to be able to take part in Sister E Youngjean's conversion.. still not sure why or how Heavenly Father could trust me with the teaching of such an incredible, amazing, beautiful daughter of God.. but I will forever be grateful. I could talk your ears off about how inadequate I felt in trying to teach her all the lessons in Korean.. (once again, so blessed to have 2 Korean companions) But I just love her so much.. and wished she could have been taught with someone with better Korean skills and just more experience.. but it all worked out, and I cannot imagine my life without her. She initially wanted to play a piano piece at her baptismal service.. but we had to keep it as sacred as possible.. so she wasn't allowed to play a song that wasn't church music.. so last minute.. they offered her the chance to bear her testimony instead. I will be honest.. I was quite nervous.. there isn't a certain way to bear a testimony.. but it's definitely not something you learn without practice.. but wow. Once again.. she put my thoughts and feelings into words.. and this time not through a piano piece! She started off by talking about the day that we met.. how we stubbornly kept talking to her.. and how she stubbornly kept ignoring us or giving us one word answers.. but how there was something different about these two missionaries.. so she decided to keep walking with us. We ended up walking with her for almost 30 minutes.. and the rest is history. I think we all know that I am not her.. so I don't know all the things that go one in her mind.. but I was privileged to see the changes that took place in her life from the first day that we met and family.. I just want to add testimony to what she said.. I know that the atonement can change us.. that it does change us. That even when we don't think there is a way/possibility that we could change, it proves us wrong. And even though she was taught it through broken Korean.. there's that atonement.. making up the rest. I am so grateful for my opportunity to learn about the atonement and to learn what it means to me personally.. but I know that it's not just because I'm on a mission.. so family.. I would encourage you to find out what the atonement means to you personally.. and then to apply it, rely on it and be grateful for it every second of everyday. 

Missionary life is great family.. the longer I am out.. the more I am realizing it's not because of the name tag on my chest or the fact that i'm in Korea.. but I know it's because it's the closet I've ever been to fully living the Gospel. Wherever you are.. you can have this joy.. the joy that comes from trying your very absolute hardest- not necessarily being perfect, and then having the atonement make up the rest. I had a few thoughts I wanted to quickly share with you from my personal study this morning. I restarted the Book of Mormon again this last week and read chapter 3-4 today from 1 Nephi.. two things that really stood out to me was first chapter 3 verse 39.. where it says that 'Laman and Lemuel were chosen to be under Nephi because of their iniquity'.. WHAT because of their iniquity?? Well what could have happened if they had been righteous? What would have happened if they had reached their divine potential??! Family.. I don't know about you.. but I don't want my Book of Jamie to have a sentence like this in it. Live up to what you were created to be.. not the consequences of what you didn't do. The second thing came from the whole chapter 4 in general. now.. don't take my word for this.. I will have to read the rest of the Book again to check myself.. but I don't think there is another chapter quite like 4... it says the word I about 2836032986535264 times. Really. I ended up circling each one.. and the whole page is full of I's. I applied this to my current mission life.. but I am sure you can apply it to your life. We have covenants and commandments to live under.. and then we have missionary rules to live by.. and then we have Seoul Mission rules to live by.. so it's become quite easy for me to just wait for someone to tell me to do something.. and then just do it. But as I read this chapter..I realized that God expects us to act.. A principle I am quickly learning is what truly brings the miracles. I know that God gives us the chance and opportunity to accomplish the tasks that are ahead of us.. that He gives us all the tools and ways to accomplish them, even when they seem hard.. however.. He has also given us our agency.. and we must first put forth the effort. I know that if we follow Nephi.. take initiative and do.. instead of waiting for the Lord to say turn left, go right, and Laban will be head on the left... but just go out and do, trusting on the spirit.. that we will be lead to where He needs and wants us to go. Don't get me wrong.. there will still be Labans to be slain in our path.. but that's when the Lord will deliver our trials "drunk" and with a sword to use to conquer them. Family.. Go out and act in faith.. in doctrine.. and with the Lord. I know that as you do so you will see miracles in your lives. That you will be able to do what the Lord needs you to do!

I love you and you're always in my prayers. Make me proud and work harder. 
All my love, 
Sister Willcox

an investigator asked me to clay make looks like a mulan character man...hahaha

Seeing my trainer!! SO SO HAPPY!!

One happy happy day!!

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