Maybe it's a mission thing... but I have come to cherish the Liahona magazine... probably as much as it ought to be.. hahah. It's quite hysterical seeing how frantic all us Korean missionaries get as the new issue rolls out... It's better than Christmas. This new March issue is fantastic, i would recommend you check it out! Anyways, I'm about to give you a little sneak peak.. President Monson gives an article about courage in it. "Courage becomes a living and an attractive virtue when it is regarded not only as a willingness to dies manfully, But also as a determination to live decently." I don't know why this quote stood out so firmly to me, but it quickly became the motto to my week. I talked with a few of you last week about my thoughts about transferring this next transfer.. I wouldn't call myself a psychic... but i did have a feeling that this last week would be my final days here in Uijeongbu.. However.. these psychic thoughts didn't prepare me as one of our AP's, Elder South.. told my companion that she would be staying this next transfer and training... My heart stopped beating as she passed the phone over to me.. when he asked me where I wanted to go.. I surprised myself with even responding with 생각업서요... Well... as I mentioned earlier.. I have been called to serve in ... 도봉 as the senior companion. Even greater than the feelings I felt when I first got here and didn't know ANY Korean.. Greater than my first finances exam at BYU.. greater than any previous feeling of inadequacy.. I was completely terrified and felt real... puny.
I knew my lucky streak of Korean companions was bound to run out.. but I never expected it to run out so abruptly.. I had quite the mental breakdown. A real moment where my faith flew right out the window and wanted to call my President and tell Him to switch my assignment.. okay, maybe not that extreme.. but it was pretty bad. I've been so blessed to be able to rely on my companions in the Korean department.. Obviously there were other aspects where I could rely on them.. but Korean was definitely the largest. And I became so scared that I am going to say something wrong or not be able to understand what's going on.. or know the need of an investigator.. and you know what.. i think those feelings are quite accurate.. so I had quite the conversation with my Father in Heaven.. and you know what.
I know that He is there listening, intently.. to everything we could possible want or need to talk about. He is there.. and as sad and scared as I was.. it was in my moment of need.. that from this time forth, I can never deny the Love of God again. i cannot even comprehend how much He loves us... but I know that if we look for it.. we can feel it. He is our Father. I never thought about the fact that courage is something to be mastered.. but I know that it is a virtue of our Savior.. and that through our mastering of it.. we can become more worthy as His servants here on earth.. and in the moments when we can't find the courage.. We can always turn to our Father in Heaven to find it. So I am so grateful the opportunity i had this week to be able to remember that Heavenly Father called me here not to learn Korean (regardless of the huge blessing it is in my life).. but rather to stand as His representative and bring others unto Christ. I may be scared.. I'm so excited to give 도봉 my heart.
We saw an incredible amount of miracles this week.. starting with randomly running into 2 old investigators that had a baptismal date.. I haven't seen them since November!! One of them lost her phone.. and the other one follows her friend.. but we were running home, sprinting as to not be late.. so all i could ask was for the new number and extended a commitment to come back to church for our church services.. they said yes.. and lo and behold.. both of them.. with 3 other investigators were there! granted.. 2 of them came after we told them about transfer calls and came saying they wanted to hear me 'speak' for my last Sunday here.. but WOW! 4 of them stayed for the rest of church! It was incredible.. despite my sobbing last testimony to this ward. I don't know about other wards here in Korea.. but I do know that of my 3 companions here.. all of them have said this ward is the best.. they truly have become more than a family to me.. it was hard saying goodbye... but i am so comforted by the fact that, being half Korean.. I will be back here to Korea. I never realized how important member missionary work was until I got here.. and wow, the difference it makes.. I learned last transfer that the stronger the relationship of the fellow shipper.. the easier it becomes to invite people to our church. Oh man.. i have to go.. have to pack..
Family.. Heavenly Father needs us where we are called.. listen to His call.. make me proud in Mesa and Utah.,, Be brave and have courage to change people's eternities!
i love you!
Remember who you are,
|Korea learned how to play HOLY GHOST this week!!|
|The McDonalds Song|
|a last church supper|
|my other Korean mom|
|I love him!! our recent covert!!|
|A special day for this 10 year old!!|