The Worth of Seoul: Miracles

I cannot believe you.. sending me the superbowl score... trying to make me an apostate missionary??!? I also cannot believe the superbowl is today... I should have realized with the marathon last week.. but wow, time is flying. For Tina's sake, I hope the Seahawks win! I can't believe how completely out of the loop I am of America.. Hopefully nothing crazy is happening over there!!!

I would like to write a dialogue between me and my companion.. this is word for word:

"I seriously cannot believe this week, do you see all these miracles??" - Sister Lee

"Yeah we were really busy this week." - Me

"NO, look at your planner."

(holding up my planner) "I am."

"What's wrong with you?! This is a miracle."

"Look... I'm still a new missionary.. I don't know what these numbers are supposed to be, what they usually are, anything. I'm tired.. so I think we're doing something right." hahahah she was so mad at me and lectured me on being grateful.

Even though I played it off like nothing to my companion... this week was A MIRACLE FAMILY. It took me a while to understand that.. but really, like I shared last week.. we are finally tasting the fruits of our labors and it's glorious. It's baffling to me how much has changed within just 2 weeks! Coming from one of the lowest points of my missionary service to this.. Heavenly Father is so eager to bless us.

Everything started at the Temple.. another inspiring, uplifting and peaceful day. 4 Missionaries from our zone are returning home at the end of this transfer.. which means they shared "final testimonies" in the chapel before we entered the Temple. It was bittersweet.. I've worked with all 4 four of them for at least 2 transfers.. 2 of them I've known since I first got here.. 2 of them are our housemates.. We're losing a large chunk of missionaries starting with this transfer and each following one until Aug.. our mission is dropping by half the size in Aug... super sad!! We need more "Seouldiers" hahahaha, but really. Anyways.. hearing their testimonies reminded me of an "activity" in Preach My Gospel.. where you think about the last day of your mission and ask yourself certain questions.. I redid these questions after the temple and have been so pumped up since. It was so motivating to see what can happen to hardworking missionaries in 18 to 24 months.. now to follow in their footsteps! Even though you're not currently walking around with a name tag.. I would encourage each of you to set goals with an end in sight.. goals of where you would like to see yourself, attributes you want to have others see in you, etc.. Your time is just as important as mine, it just depends on how you're using it! I know you can reach all your goals fam.. especially with the Lord's help!

I refuse to acknowledge time as far as missionary service goes.. and even though this time is but a blimp of a lifetime of millions on millions of memories, not even considering eternity..... they all pale in comparison to this chance and time to be Heavenly Father's full time missionary. I still have so far to go.. things that won't even happen while I'm in Korea.. but from what has happened.. I am so grateful. Not only have I come to a firmer knowledge and understanding of His love for me.. all of His children.. He has helped me to develop that love for these incredible people. In just a few short months.. in this tiny fraction of His vineyard here on earth, my heart has grown larger than it ever has. Sometimes that growth brings tears as commitments aren't kept, investigators drop us, rude comments are said.. even piercing -20 degree weather whips at my face.. but the blessings have outweighed all the negativity.. and it's changing me. I don't think there's been a day since I started serving.. that I didn't cry.( just being real, no need to worry.. most of them are good tears;)) However, instead of those tears only coming during personal prayers.. I've come to just accept those tears as they come at any given moment throughout the day. There is no wonder in my mind anymore why the first commandment.. and it's closely followed second, were given in the order that they were. I know that when we keep these two great commandments.. that everything else falls into their place. Despite people pushing or spiting! I am so grateful for my chance to learn what the love of God is.. to feel it, experience it, and have it for His beloved children.. One in particular.. the investigator who's picture I sent last week. her baptism is this upcoming week.. I couldn't be more thrilled.

Through the 8 am appointments before school.. deep doctrinal questions, questioning family, trial in keeping all commitments.. Sister E Young Jean is making her first covenant with our Heavenly Father!! Ahh fam, I can't express my happiness and pure joy through watching her progression and testimony. Don't get me wrong.. I have loved all of our investigators, recent converts.. reactivated Less-actives.. but this girl has really changed my life. It sounds weird.. but having been privileged to attend every appointment with her.. I was the first one to talk to her on the street when we met! (Sister Lee and Sister Choi both taught her with me) I have seen the incredible mountain she has climbed.. and it hasn't been easy.. but she's put her trust in the Savior and has made it to the top.. There are others after this one, but she's conquered this one!! Having been privileged to attend every appointment, she reminded me a lot of mine own conversion to this gospel.. witnessing her progression of self, testimony and love.. She has already changed so much.. and although she doesn't see it, I do.. and It's reminding me what the atonement does for us. It's amazing to me that someone would trust us... give their life over to 2 sister missionaries just a few years older than her and tell us her personal life, trials, worries, mistakes... and it's teaching me so much about trust.. and showing me how much more trust I need to have in my Savior.

As I said to my companion.. I'm still new.. and I will probably call myself that for the rest of my life.. so I'm not sure what's normal.. but these last few weeks with Sister Lee haven't felt normal and I can't stop smiling! It's been hard.. less sleep and a lot of adjusting.. but one huge miracle and blessing after another. The fact that I haven't had time to really write in my journal was the first sign! It really is incredible how large of a debt I am accruing to the Lord with all these blessings... I know He never expects me to pay it off.. not that I could.. but I just don't understand how He does it!

family.. live worthy of these blessings.. they're suffocating. but in a good kind of way! I love you and am constantly praying for you! But my prayers are useless unless you're getting down on your knees as well.

All my love,

Sister Willcox