Wednesday, October 8, 2014

CUDOJAW

I always thought I knew what missionaries meant when they said that the days seems like weeks and the weeks seem like days. I've been here for 2 weeks already?? Is that even possible??? I feel like I've only been here for one day... but then again.. sometimes I feel like it's been a month. Time.. weird. Since I'm fairly new at this whole "weekly summary" ordeal, bear with me for the randomness of thought and word.. My brain feels like it's working more right now scrambling to figure out what I want to talk about then compared to when I am in class learning Korean. The irony. 

I never knew of this immeasurable amount of happiness... The type of happiness that isn't dependent on who I am with, who loves me or where I am going.. But happiness from being obedient to The Lord. I just chopped 7 inches of my hair... and I'm still smiling. I can't remember how to play To Satisfy The Law on the piano anymore, and I am still UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY. Even if I don't get to teach a single lesson on my mission, I am so grateful for this opportunity I have to learn of the blessing of being obedient! I started a new journal the other day filled with Life Tips... Almost every single one of them contains the word obedience.. and faith. Obedience is not only the first law of the Gospel.. but it is the basis upon which all blessings are predicated. I have never been so obedient in every aspect of my life, nor have I ever been blessed so abundantly! The Lord truly wishes to bless us. 
BEST WEEK EVER! hahaha. Don't get me wrong... it was the hardest week ever, but even a two week old missionary knows there's opposition in all things. Even though I refused to show it, I was stressed out my mind. Korean is proving to be more and more difficult with exceptions, rules, sentence structure, urgghhh... Saturday night hit and I was pretty internally in the slumps. I have never felt so weak in my own abilities and so acutely aware of the "natural man" that I am.. but, being blessed with a happy disposition, I arose the next morning determined to forget myself and depend on the Lord. Within 10 minutes of getting to our classrooms after breakfast, President Yost came into our room and asked to meet with me. Feelings of love overcame me as I thought to myself, wow, the Lord knows I needed comfort and a destresser... This is awesome. Well, immediately after closing the door, President Yost said, "I read your email Sister Willcox, and I know you're feeling slightly stressed but now we would like to add to your stress and extend the assignment of Sister Training Leader to you." I so wish I could have a recording of my face in that exact moment. My heart started pounding and feelings of love and power completely consumed me.. and then a boatload of feelings of more stress. HAHAH. It was an interesting second Sunday to say the least. One in which I more fully understood what the chickens to hens... quoted 21 times a day scripture mastery meant... If you guessed Ether 12:27 you're doing something right. I have never in my life felt so inadequate for a calling... I had only been here for 10 days.. couldn't even formulate my own Korean sentences.. how could I be a STL as well??? Well, the Lord has helped me in my weaknesses.. and has made me strong. I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to add this assignment to my mission call. I have grown more in love, compassion and understanding in this last week only than I have my entire life. The Lord has provided me a way to look outward, even if it is by assignment and not according to my own natural desires... haha. 
I am so excited to continue to keep growing and learning.. Each day and I find myself incredibly happy and grateful for the progression I am able to make with the Lord helping me along. I have never felt so close to Him in my entire life. I know that he is always with us. Loving us, guiding us and forever strengthening us. The Atonement was not simply a once in a lifetime event.. Although it is singular in moment... I know that Jesus Christ lives. That He is STILL fighting for our Salvation. He will forever be our Savior, Redeemer and our loving brother. He will continue to plead for us, not just on a weekly basis as we turn our hearts to Him during sacrament meeting, but daily, in every single moment of our lives. He continually sends us angels, both not in and not in this world. I am so grateful for all the people in my life.. Who have acted in His behalf in helping me getting to this point. You have all been an angel from the Atonement of Jesus Christ.. Thank you. 
Every day is an opportunity for us.. to not only draw closer to the Lord..but to reach the limitless potential we rightfully earned in the premortal world. I have never pushed myself harder.. Not in my geeky AP class or college courses, never. I know that we have a divine calling in this life.. and I am going to do everything I can to attain it. President Yost told me, "When you were in the premortal world I know you were nagging to be sent to earth. To be tested and then proven worthy to return to our Heavenly Father. All you thought about was the day when you could finally return to Him. Well, your time has finally come.. But with that patience you were able to gain, utilize this time of MTC preparation just like you did in the Premortal. The day will soon come when the Lord needs you, be ready for it." I may not be a total perfectionist.. but I know I am a determined person.. I don't care where the Lord calls me, I am going to be ready to reap the harvest in the worst possible area. To teach the grumpiest Koreans. To bring the gospel to my family. I am a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and with God, I know all things are possible. I refuse to wait until the end of my mission to ask myself if I gave it my all. 
Thank you so much for all the love and prayers you have sent me, I feel them and I testify of the power of prayer. I love you all so much. Thank you for bringing me a happiness I have only obtained by knowing my family can live together for eternity! I'll send off your letters a little later today! I'm always praying for you!
All my love, 
Sister Willcox

ps.. I love my district.. All we do is warp Office quotes and make them spiritual. Jama Lama Ding dong Forever.


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