I refuse to start every email with, "This week was awesome!", so just remember I'm always thinking it. Line upon line, precept upon precept.. This is the working of the Gospel. Although I will testify that we can receive explosive truths and manifestations.. nothing speaks quite as softly as the Holy Ghost. I will be honest and admit this used to frustrate and confuse me... Why would the Lord want to wait to give us spiritual confirmation and understanding? Wouldn't he want to us to know immediately after inquiring, learning or hearing??? Why would He suffer His children to wander in darkness? If the Lord wanted something to be done, it would be done. If the Lord wanted us to be able to speak Korean fluently... We wouldn't need to be here for 9 weeks. If I had felt the confirmation that it was my time to serve a mission anytime previous to this year, I would have received it already. But I didn't.. Instead, I had a year full of ups and downs, question and answer and no confirmation that it was finally my time to go. You know exactly what I'm talking about from this past year.. yet, the idea still remained, the desire strengthened and now here I am. One hundred times over more refined, prepared and ready to be the Lord's representative. Although I do not understand the Lord's timing in my life... I do know that He was always watching over me and preparing me for a pathway I knew even less about. His timing has helped my testimony, personality and character line upon line, precept upon precept. Don't get me wrong, there is still mountains to be moved on my road to discipleship.. but He has helped strengthen my faith in order for it to be done. I know that just as aware of me He is right now.. is JUST as aware of me He was as I 'wandered' in darkness. He is always watching over us. I don't know why it's almost been 2 years since the mission age change and I am finally going.. But I do know that His timing is perfect. Frustrating.. but perfect nonetheless. I love my companion. I know that there isn't anyone in the whole world who could teach me the lessons she is sharing with me. I love my district and am blown away as they answer questions I've wondered for years.. I love my teachers and their own individual ways of helping me become a more effective missionary. I love my Branch Presidency and every single moment I am edified by their knowledge. And these are just a fraction of the reasons why two years was worth the wait.. The Lord's timing will always be worth the wait. I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost's role in my life this week in answering that huge question I've been questioning the past two years.
I know that with every question we could possibly think of is an answer waiting to be learned... I may not always be the answer we want, but it's the Lord's answer.. and I have a slight hunch that He knows better than we do. In addition to the large questions I've wondered in my life... I often times find myself asking simple questions with no apparent answer. And I wait, wait, wait... Racking my brain for understanding, search scripture after scripture, say prayer after prayer... all to no avail.. and then suddenly, it comes. Softer than my purple suede flats, brighter than the light flooding the room every morning and more exhilarating than the thought of an apostle speaking to us.. I love the Holy Ghost.. I'd be willing to spend days, weeks even years waiting for an answer. As long as I knew it would come, and the glorious thing about this Gospel is that we KNOW that they will come... they always will.
I only have about half the time I usually have, my bad. But I do want to share something that really inspired me this week.. During our Tuesday night devotional, we were graced with the presence of Brother and Sister Sitati! Oooo, quick side note. As a STL, we had the privilege of picking up a new branch of Native Koreans on Tuesday.. As I stood outside their classroom waiting for them to be dismissed... Brother and Sister Nally approached me (MTC President and wife) and gave me hugs and we chatted for a while.. until the Sitati's got there and I got to talk with them and shake hands/hug them! Blessings blessing blessings!! Anyways, in his address, Brother Sitati kept saying "you are a Representative of Jesus Christ"... and it finally hit me. I was not called as a missionary simply to spread the Gospel.. If that were so... Korean speaking natives wouldn't have to learn German in order to preach in Germany! Nor I sent to anywhere that wasn't English speaking.. But we were called to Represent Christ.. Christ wasn't just a teacher, but an example.. Not just a carpenter, but a healer.. My calling is not only to spread the Gospel.. but to love, serve, help, comfort His children.. just as He did in His earthy ministry. The task ahead of me is great.. but I know that He is with me every step of the way.
In a letter I received from a friend this week were three words he held to the utmost of importance, especially for that of a missionary. The words were Ponder, Remember and Become. Coincidentally, or not ;) the day after I received this letter was the day I got to 2 Nephi 32 in my scripture reading. As I read this chapter these three words kept popping back up in my mind.. We must ALWAYS ponder the words of Christ so that we may remain in the Light of Christ.. (verse 4) After we have pondered these things, the Holy Ghost will tell us all of the things that we must do.. and then we must ponder them still (verse 8).. As we do that.. as we continually feast upon not only the Words of Christ, but the promptings we receive from the Holy Ghost, I know that He will show us all things that we must do.. And for me.. that will be to become an angel of the Lord.. Someone who will be able to speak with the tongue of Angels (vs. 2-3). What does the Lord want to teach you? What does He want you to become? Remember your divine worth.. and let the Holy Ghost help you become that. My life has been so much more... everything, as I've let the Lord take me down the pathway He has prepared for me.
These past few weeks have been incredible. I have seen countless blessings, miracles, answers to prayers and changes and this is only the beginning! I am so very grateful for your love and support.. not only at this time in my life, but always. It feels like Christmas whenever I receive a letter from you, except better. I don't know how I got so lucky, not only with you.. but everything in my life! Well.. everything except for my inability to keep pairs of socks. You'll never guess what went missing today.............. I love you all so very much. I pray for you constantly.
All my love,
|Just practicing our Korean bowing|
|my companion and one of the new natives!!!! Sister Oh.|
|I currently have 14 knots in my back|